Deeper into the abyss.........

I seem to be quite a bit perturbed these days.Feel like I have hit rock bottom.Feel like nothing is gonna come for me.Prospects are bleak.Sometimes, i feel like giving up.Surrendering myself to what people call..'destiny'.But i had never been like this.Never had i accepted defeat in life.What about my dreams of doing my mba from one of the top institutes here.I see so many people who aren't worth anything, savoring the fruits of success.I don't wanna waste my degree in a stupid.nonsense,any tom, dick and harry college.I wanna achieve something..at least after my engineering debacle.Had always dreamed of either IAS or MBA. Now is my chance to do something.To show the world my worth.And i know I can do it. But i don't know where am falling short.Is it practice? But i do toil in the midnight oil always..Then why...why is it not happening.I seem to be drowning and drowning in the abyss.I haven't disclosed about this blog to anyone..only to two of my closest friends.But i will..the day..the day i become somebody.and i promise you.i would try my best to be SOMEBODY............
note to myself : wont waste time because when m relaxing here, somebody else in this world is toiling and i want to and have to defeat that somebody.

bLah...............!!

It's been a hectic week..had my exam last friday .though there are still more to come,i seem to have taken a not-so-deserving break!!had started my preps late.so had to cram some 4-5 chapters in a day..tat too for an exam as significant as CAT..paper was easy and as usual, i screwed it(i always screw up easy papers hahaha..that's like my forte).but i don blame myself. for i know a person with meagre 2 months of prep stands nowhere in an exam which was taken by around 2.4 lac people who seemed to b prepared to the hilt!anyways, that's not the end of life.Tats how i always console myself :):)So, any of you, who haven't performed up to the mark or to your satisfaction,don't you worry.Life gives us zillions of chances.What matters is how you make use of it.I never believed in LUCK.i feel we aren't born with our destinies written.We can change it if we want to. But majority of the homosapiens don't feel so or they are too lazy to retrospect but blame others or God..
Ahh..its getting boring now.Studies apart, me going home in the weekend.M super excited.Haven't yet done the tickets though..Air fare seems so expensive..Who the hell is gonna travel for 10k in a spice-jet!!My boy friend is coming from Delhi tomorrow..M so damn happy.But i wouldn't get even 2 days to spend with him..What a tragedy! :(:(
I recently came across this dialogue from one of Rocky's movies..Though m not a ardent follower of Rocky, these lines have inspired and motivated me a lot..Hope it motivates you too.

" The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens."